I hate you so much right now - my life

Before I go any further let me make sure we are clear about this, I am not happy with myself - I would be happy if I was half the woman I currently am, but even as I am I am reasonably happy the way I am (for the moment.) The problem is my life - it certainly seems a problem.

When did life get so complicated? When did life get so difficult?

I went for a walk last night with a friend and comment was made to which I said I wanted out and added the comic rider "to both;" when my shocked friend got her clarification I confirmed I meant the specific we were talking about, and life. As we continued walking my friend commented she didn't like hearing her friends say such things, but the more I thought about it as we walked back home the more I realised I was being 100% honest. I want out of life.

What am I giving to the world? I sponsor a child in Bolivia. The problem is I never hear from her - despite having written a handful of letters nothing ever seems to come back to me. I get nothing from the transaction, and I don't need to get anything other than the fact that the money is making it across nicely and that good things are being done with it. I could contact World Vision and question what is happening and why I am not getting any letters, but the truth is it is just a little bit too much hassle. I don't want to get the office in Bolivia into trouble. I don't want to seem as if the only reason I am doing this is to get letters. It is easier to let it go. Less fulfilling but easier. I used to sponsor a child in Brazil, that went well, I would like it to be like that again please.

How comes I have a neighbour who knocks on my door at midnight to complain about any number of things, yet he cant do it at a sensible hour. How comes I feel obliged to listen to his crashing around without commenting because I strongly believe some of it is intentionally done to annoy me, and I am concerned that if I let him know he can be heard and gets to me that he would do it all the more? I want to be a reasonable person and be treated reasonably.

How comes I have kids that do not live locally playing in the car park adjacent to my property. Their balls regularly come over into my garden and the kids climb the fence to get the ball back treading on plants that are not of the variety that bounce back, they climb using my garden wires designed for growing plants up as an aid to the climbing process - slackening it the wire so much it no longer serves its purpose, they climb over the fence in the same places that means for years I have been concerned about the collapse of the fence and as the kids grow with each year the concerns grow too. Why do kids think they can enter other peoples property to retrieve their ball. My garden isn't overlooked by anyone I have the right to walk about as I wish in a nighty or undies yet ontop of this assault on my domain I feel I am prohibited from doing as I wish within my own home because who knows what child is going to be in my garden without my permission. Heaven help the child that is in my garden when I jump out the bath to put some softener in the washing machine - I will be suing for - erm - something or other.

How comes I have had three car insurance claims in as many years, and this means my insurance has gone up and my no claims bonus has been affected - yet I was not in the car at the time any of these events occurred. Insurance covers these things and when it isn't my fault I shouldn't be penalised - yet I am - it is a way for the insurance people to make money.

How come I have free mobile phone insurance through my bank yet my mobile phone company has been charging me £7 a month insurance, and require a months notice to stop the insurance. Why charge me for insurance I don't want and don't need. I don't even recall being asked by Vodafone if I want insurance - yet I have been charged it. As a goodwill gesture they have refunded me half the costs I have incurred in light of the insurance - half of the three months I have been charged for over the last couple of months. I could argue my way to getting the whole lot of the money back but as much as I want that £15 there are more important things in life to worry about.

How come when Autoglass fitted the replacement window in my car the other week they didnt reassemble the door correctly. I spent a week struggling opening and closing the windows. This might not sound like a major problem, but with ticket barriers and drive through petrol stations being a daily occurrence it was an absolute nightmare. I ended up taking the car back to Autoglass and getting them to look at it. The guy who looked at the buttons and agreed they were misalign just pushed them a little and they clicked into place. He laughed, but I know if I had done that the clip that would hold thy buttons in place would have snapped. Autoglass announce they will complete the job in 20 minutes, but what good is that if you wait 2 days for them to do the job, they do it in 15 minutes but you then spend the next week struggling with them having not spent another 30 seconds on the job - which ultimately costs you 45 minutes drivetime to the Autoglass store and back.

How come that a month before my English exam my English class has been cancelled. I have a great deal of empathy for my tutor who has just lost a family member, but so close to the exam it is important that we get all the instruction we can. A number of us are awaiting feedback on draft assignments to complete them and hand them in - if we are not careful we will not be given time to do this - the first week the tutor was unavailable we found the class was covered - but not the second week. This is so not appropriate now we have our pre-release material we need all the guidance and tutoring we can get. Still, what can we do - nothing.

How come my home insurance which I specifically changed to include fences no longer includes fences. My requirements are my requirements and follow from one year to the next. Somehow the requirement just seemed to drop off - with is a real annoyance because someone drove their car into the fence at the bottom of the garden, and while the fence is not my responsibility according to the lease the owner of the car parking space doesn't really care as it isn't his security that is being breached, his privacy exposed (or based on my earlier comment - privates). The car park fence is regularly vandalised by the kids who want to get from one car park to the other - as playing in ours is more fun it seems. I could go to the door of the car space owner and ask for the details of whoever repairs the fence - but I fear they would not provide it. This fear is with a reason by the way.

Nobody wants to use the car park because the kids play in there, the kids play in there because it is not used. The kids possibly play in there before people return home from work but no car owner is going to want to use a car park when there are kids playing football and roller hockey in there. I made a gentle approach to one of the parent to say the children shouldn't be there and ended up walking away in absolute tears. The kids pay no attention to civilised requests I suspect because at least one of their parents is an ass. The child I am thinking of as I write this isn't all that bad - it is just the continual thump of balls against wood, the continual noise they make with their shouting. Moreover it isn't always the child I approached that is the worst offender he was just the nearest to whom I wanted to make an approach. So - no I don't think the neighbours would be forthcoming with the details of the people who repair the fence - it would put the cost of their maintenance up. So, I ended up paying £30 for the bits and stood there looking all pathetic as my 65 year old dad was scrambling around a large raised flower bed.

How come people think it is ok to dump rubbish like cookers, fridge's, mattress's, arm chairs and sofas in the car park area? I confess before I had it done people dumped it in my garden which was even more distressing but, the council has a bulky refuse service which only costs the phone call. The council will book in any item and remove it. Yet, the items are never booked in when I call the refuse people to check. I get stressed out by it and they book it as fly tipping. The council has sent out a couple of letters pointing out the phone number but people don't seem to give a fig these days - as long as it is out of their sight. What people don't realise is that things like sofas and chairs get moved by the children. They take them up the slope at the back of the car park and place them behind the bushes so they can make their own private dens. Guess what that means? Destruction of plants and grasses, increase of crisp wrappers and pop bottles, and MORE BLOODY NOISE. What's more when they begin to think of it as a home they start abusing things even more - grafittiing the fences. Oooh by the way - who was it that spent over £50 removing the graffiti from the car park to make it look more acceptable. Me. Some of it was my fencing but some of it wasnt. Whichever way though, it brings down the neighbourhood and encourages continued bad behaviour. Bloody neighbours, bloody kids I am not sure who is worse. I do have some neighbours who put stuff in the car park and do call the council to come and remove things - but with a little forethought they could keep the stuff in their gardens (or in their house) until just before the council can come out. They think they are doing the right thing - but they don't think it through - it makes it seem acceptable for other people.

Why do I care so much about this car park? Firstly because it is next to my property, the kids use any object they can as goal posts - which makes it dangerous when a car drives in there at night. Whose fence are they going to go through?

Then there is the huge chunks of concrete that the kids have taken to throwing around without consideration of the damage it will cause. Trust me - I have heard a substantial chunk hit my window. I am eternally glad that the window didnt shatter because I swear I would have been absolutely livid and likely to cause some personal damage as it was an intentional act. What more I witnessed the child who I have said isn't all that bad throwing a large chunk over the soundproofing fence. Beyond the fence is the walkway to the cinema and the other side of the path a MAJOR road (more major than a main road - more like a highway - indeed it is a dual carriageway.)

What else don't I like about my life? There are 1001 things around finance and work and life but the fact of the matter is I am looking forward to going out for a meal with my friends at the weekend, and to my holiday at the end of the year, but although I will enjoy these events, and the company of my friends between now and then my life generally 'sucks'. I really don't like using the word as a description of my life - but it is the one that sums it up most efficiently. My life sucks. Of course I want out. I wouldn't action that desire, but I have had enough of it.

I hate you so much right now - Baby on board signs.

At the moment this is beginning to look like a car rant blog – but I promise it does go deeper than cars, but just for now here is another car related rant.

Travelling home last night I was travelling down the A13 at just under 30 miles an hour. Not much of concern there – it was 17.30 and I was trying to get home for work, and the traffic in Aldgate/Stepney area had just started to move again having been static for a while.

So why am I whining? When the traffic started moving it moved quite promptly, and a large MPV pulled out from a turning on the left to pull in front of me. I am good at leaving reasonable distances between me and the car in front, but this driver who pulled out was really pushing their luck. I had to throw on the breaks quite heavily and dropped from 28mph to lower than my speedometer even registers. It made me pause for breath.

So am I ranting because this driver really was pushing it? The truth is only in part. It was the driving in association with what was in the back window. A ‘Baby on board’ sign. What is it with these signs? Do the owners realise the full extent of the message these signs give out?

My first thought is who aimed at? Are they aimed at the driver or passengers of the car? If the aim is to stop Mr-Forgetful-Driver from forgetting that baby-of-forgetful-driver is strapped into the back seat then my first thought is they are a neglectful guardian and possibly shouldn’t have a child; but my main point would be the back window would not be the place to remind the people sitting in the car. If it is a reminder to driver to check back seat – then position should be on the dash board where they can see.

If the sign is for the benefit of the emergency services then there are a couple of things – firstly the sign shouldn’t be in the car when there isn’t a child in the back. If the owner of cars with these signs still insist on having these baby-on-board signs then it would be worth noting that – the emergency services would not prioritise their car because there is a child onboard. By the very fact there is a child in the car assures the services there is an adult in the car too. No baby has a valid driving licence – yet. Consequently the emergency services would treat every car equally -–based on the fact is that there someone in the car to look after the child.

If the baby-on-board sign is for those travelling behind then why bother, what is the message you are trying to portray? Do you think my standard of driving is going to change because YOU have a child. Firstly the children are your treasures and not mine, but mostly it is worth noting that my driving is not inferior and can not be improved because of a sign. I always drive at the best of my ability – my car contains my treasure – ME!

No, the baby-on-board sign seems little more than a thumb at those who don’t have kids, an announcement of virility, and if you think that is where my rant ends you are very wrong.

The truth is I don’t care you have kids, just as I don’t care that I don’t. Are you trying to upset those going through fertility treatment? The truth is some of these drivers must be extremely virile as take risks with their vehicles and passengers and expect others to make allowances for their by using the sign as a warning tool. Bad news sign owners – people don’t change their driving style and it is you that are taking chances with your treasures. Sign holders remember it’s a flawed idea that doesn’t work.– just shows drivers for what they are.

All this said I might make myself a sign, which says "Single white female". It will attract the singletons out there if nothing else, and indicates I could be alone in the cars should emergency services need to cut me out my car where some idiot with a sign forces me to take evasive actions unsuccessfully.

I hate you so much right now - non indicating rushing drivers

OK so there are two things I was absolutely desperate to blog yesterday but as one is a work in progress I am going to hold back on the biggest scandal ever to be blogged until such time as things have been clarified.... so watch this space for an interesting blog soon.

The second issue faded from my concerns overnight - but this morning - it has come flooding back - with a slightly different spin on it. Now as I think about it in the warm cosiness of the office it is making my blood boil even now.

Last night I was sitting in a pile of traffic in Dock Street trying to turn onto the Highway. I had plenty of time to look at the model shop, the nursery, the mission, and a pile of estate agents as it took quite some time to travel so little a distance.

At the junction that happens to be a crossroads the road widens to two lanes so I pulled into the left lane as I intended to turn left. This seems sensible enough - right?

What I wasnt ready for was the van that shot down the right hand lane to cut me up and turn left at the junction.

If you want to turn left sit in the left-hand lane. If you want to turn right sit in the right hand lane, if you want to go straight ahead go in either lane but be aware if someone wants to turn right you could be stuck behind them for a while. I think that is a fair basic understanding of
road etiquette. The van pulled right in front of me and I had to stop and throw the breaks on quite hard. I was not ready for that at all!!

I am aware that at 4pm people want to get home, but that driver has no idea what effect their appalling manoeuvre had. the driver probably believes that they are an excellent driver - they are certainly at the very least reckless.

What would have happened if I had gone straight ahead at that junction?

Now I will be driving with extra care at that junction to prevent such things happening again - and even I know that cautious drivers are not always the best as it means others have to take evasive action.

Was this situation a one off? No

This morning coming into work I was driving along the a13 to come to work and found there was another reckless driver who didn't indicate and was equally devilish with the road lanes.

There was this high lorry with some kind of crane/grab mechanism. Without warning the lorry pulls out from the middle lane to the outside lane --I throw on my breaks as the fit is kind of cosy. The vehicle finds it is not progressing fast enough in the fast lane and cuts back across two lanes to the slow lane. The lorry passes another vehicle - or two and pulls back out
to the middle lane. At no point in any of these manoeuvres has the lorry indicated, and watching this happening ahead of me I am aware that car after car hits the breaks as a result of a big old blue lorry suddenly appearing in front of it.

So, what was going on? From where I stood it looked like a clear indication of one reckless driver who didn't use his indicators, broke the speed limits, and caused reactive driving from a whole group of other road users. It is this kind of rushing and non-use of indicators that are major reasons for accidents occurring. So help me twice in two days - will drivers ever realise how close they are to causing accidents? Shame on them for not realising.